I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
