so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
