she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
