i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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