the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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