This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
