Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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