You're so nebulous sometimes
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
