Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
