we're blogging at a bar
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Randomize
