He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize