I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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