the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
