I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
