we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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