Just mADE A PArabola og urine
time to smoke my breakfast
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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