i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
where does the pee come out of this thing
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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