Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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