Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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