We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
