You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
