He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
