I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize