I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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