Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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