My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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