and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
