So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize