I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
