Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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