Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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