I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize