and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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