I want to stick my p in your. b.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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