friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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