According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
