You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
