fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
