She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
