I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
