I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
