So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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