Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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