He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dicks are not precious.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
