I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
