the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
