all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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