their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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