Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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