I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
