I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
