When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
