Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
