garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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