We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
