if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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