i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
