When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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