so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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