I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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