Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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