I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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